Where do I even begin?
First off, let me say, I am SO thankful for all of the weight I have lost and will continue to lose by God's grace. I wouldn't trade it for anything ... even the frustration that I'm currently dealing with.
With that being said, losing 122 lbs takes you to a whole new world of clothing and I'm having a really hard time with it. It's so weird not having to shop in the plus-size section of department stores anymore. I'm having to relearn where everything is and getting to totally discover stores that I've never even been able to shop in before but that's not a big deal at all -- it's even kind of fun.
The issue is clothes not fitting me right. I'm not exaggerating when I say that in the past week, I've tried on around 60 pairs of jeans. NONE of them fit me right. Why? Because for a size 12, my calves are big. They're very muscular from carrying around so much weight for so long; plus, of course, I'm not at my goal, so there is still some fat that could be lost. So, pants will fit me perfectly, except for bunching up on the back of my leg above my knee because my big calves are preventing them from hanging properly or something. It looks so ugly and abnormal.
I've tried Belk, JC Penney, Cato, Target, Walmart, Old Navy, American Eagle, Gap, Burlington, etc. I literally own zero pairs of pants right now and cold weather is right around the corner. I had the same problem with capris this summer but thankfully was able to find some that didn't do it. Like I've said before in past posts, until I hit my goal, I try not to buy many clothes each season -- just enough to get me by with a week's worth of outfits or so. Every season I have to start from scratch; this gets very expensive and frustrating (but I'm still thankful).
I'm not your typical girl when it comes to shopping for clothes ... I hate it. If I could just pick something up off the rack without trying it on and know that it's going to fit me perfectly, then I would probably love clothes shopping but that just simply isn't the case. I also am having a really hard time with tops. I wear a size medium in most stores but because of how big my arms still are (loose skin ... that's a whole other blog post) the arm's are way too tight in a lot of the tops I try on. I just thought that when I got down to where I am now, I wouldn't have an issue with clothes and that shopping would be fun. I guess I'm going to just have to look ridiculous wearing bunched up jeans this winter because I don't have a choice. If I had never gotten fat, I wouldn't be having any of these issues with clothes. But I did get fat and I'm having to deal with the consequences, even after having gotten most of the weight off.
There are other things that I could go on about but I think I've said enough. My intention isn't to complain. I hate complaing because it sounds like I'm not thankful but I'll say it again ... I AM thankful and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I mainly wanted to write this because I know that a lot of my readers want to know ALL about my journey -- the good, the bad and the ugly -- because they are on their own journey or just starting out themselves. I just want to be real and let you know that there are some parts about losing weight that aren't so great (i.e., the loose skin) but it still beats being unhealthy and fat.
Please pray that I can find some pants and some fall/winter clothes that I feel good in. I've worked really hard and at least want to feel good about what I'm wearing.